Lust and passion

After the non-meeting at the weekend I told my daughter L that I needed a night of lust and passion, especially as I have not exerienced a night like that before. I wanted to know what it would be like and whether I was capable of a night like that. Well now I have had the experience and know the answer to my capability in that department of relationships.

I have just had the most amazing 25 hours with a man. The best time I have ever had. And no matter what happens from here, I will treasure the memories of those hours for ever. I had no idea how different this would be from any previous experience. I hoped it would be so from chats we had had over the last two weeks. yet I was not prepared for how wonderful it would be in reality.

I met D at the train station at 1pm. As the train came in I took a deep breath and thought here I go. As soon as D stepped off the train I knew it would all be well. He looked good and was smiling, while helping an elderly lady off the train. He came over to me and we hugged, kissed, and hugged again. It felt so natural, it was easy.

As it was raining, we walked to the hotel, each with an umbrella while chatting. The walk took 15 minutes. D booked in for the room and we had to wait for 10 minutes or so while housekeeping finished up. We sat on a love seat in the lobby and held hands and kissed. It was a romantic moment, the first of many. We took our bags up to the room on the third floor - all stairs. After stowing bags and things we decided the weather was dry enough to go across the meadows for a walk and a picnic. I had bought some crackers, cheese and grapes to eat.

Leaving

I have decided that I am not returning to Maine. I feel so at home here in England with my family close by that I want and need to remain here. I am freer and developing my own life here for the last 2 years.

After returning to Maine for 3 months, and then coming back I now know this is the right place for me to be. I loved living in Maine and have a lovely home there, as well as some good friends. Yet this last time I was fully aware of how much I wanted to be home in England.

Now I have a decision to make about my marriage. While in Maine for the 3 months I felt that L and I were like two old friends sharing a house. There was no hugging, kisses, touch. Just a quiet calm.

So the question is, do i leave both Maine and my husband? Or do I leave Maine only and continue in a marriage over here? My gut feeling is that I need to leave both. Now I ahve to do it.

I am in effect away from both now. So the leaving part is done and I am in control as to whether or not I fly back. What I can not control is how my husband will react or respond to my telling heim our marriage is over. Ideally for me, he will accept it and already know in his heart that this the case. If not, he may come over to see me and that would be the worst scenario. Time will tell.

I will not be writing on here tomorrow evening as I will probably be staying in a hotel in town with my friend from Dorset. That's another complication that has cropped up in the last couple of weeks, completely unexpectedly. More in 2 days time on that one!

Breast feeding

My daughter is breast-feeding her new baby, who is 1 week old today. Breast-feeding is protrayed as a bonding and wonderful experience. While this is true, there are aspects to breast-feeding, partucularly in the early weeks, that can be difficult and cause not so nice outcomes. Although these difficulties can be overcome, without good support from family, friends and midwives it can be easy to give up on the whole process and resort to bottles.

The baby had no trouble latching onto the breast and establishing a good sucking motion. Once the milk started coming in, my daughter found that she could feed the baby very well with her left breast. The right breast gave her a lot of pain and became extremely hard and sore to the touch. The nipple was sore and had a couple of blisters on the side. L became depressed over her difficulties with feeding and worried that she would not be able to give the baby enough milk from one breast only, and felt she was failing her baby if she gave up breast-feeding.

Fortunately, the midwife came round to do the foot print of the baby. L talked to her about her problems. The midwife was supportive and gave some excellent advice about massaging the breast to soften it up before expressing the milk with a breast pump. This is to be done each time the baby feeds on the other breast. Any milk can be either frozen or kept in the fridge. After a couple of days, L can try feeding on that breast and see how she gets on with it.

So far, it is working. L has expressed 3 small bottles of milk and has a much softer breast. A lot of the pain has subsided and she was talking about trying the baby on the brease this evening. She is also using nipple shields while feeding and they are helping the soreness and cracks in the nipples heal.

So all is tending towards a positive outcome after a few sessions of tears and lack of confidence in her ability to carry on.

Men and babies

My weekend of lust and passion did not happen. I had thought it was going too quickly and too well. My beau postponed his visit this weekend as his father, who has cancer, had a bad spell overnight and needed D today as well. This is fine. I would rather D stayed home with his father at this difficult time than made the trip here, then worried he could not get back if anything happened. We can get together another time and will continue talking on Skype to become more familiar with each other. By the time we meet, we will know each other so well.

My granddaughter has been having a bad evening. She woke up around 9 pm for a feed and did not go back to sleep. She seems to be hungry all the time, and wants food every hour. We thought she had gone to sleep at 1:30, so she was put in her moses basket and we all prepared for bed. 20 minutes later she was awake and crying again. Eventually she will go to sleep and by then we will all be so tired and snappy.

Tiredness

I have felt tireder today than I have known for a long time. I am wiped out and ready to sleep at any moment. My eyes are so heavy they weigh me down. my head throbs with the need for rest. I am snappy and cold.

Sleep deprivation is an underestimated health issue. new mothers can get depressed through lack of sleep, and I am suffering now for late nights and very early mornings. So tonight i intend on getting to bed and sleeping by midnight. And no 5 am waking. I will sleep for at least 7 hours so I am fit for whatever the weekend brings.

Love online

I am wondering if it is possible to fall in love with someone online, before meeting face to face. I am thinking that my Skype man is geting to feel a bit too strongly about me, and I am not sure I am ready for another full-blown relationship at the moment.

Perhaps this will be a long distance affair, as he lives about 4 hours away from here. Each of us could take it in turns to travel to see the other maybe twice a month. We would both have the freedom of being single while having the pleasure of being in a relationship. Romance is not dead in my life at the moment, even though I have a husband in the US who is wanting me to return there and help earn an income. Now that relationship is another story.

As for ths one, I will have to wait and see. i can make my reports and observations in here as it goes along - if it goes along after we meet.

Taking a chance

Yesterday I was thinking about hearts and minds controlling emotions. Today it is all about taking chances in life and whether it is possible to assess the risks involved before embarking on a course of action.

I am contemplating jumping out of my comfort zone completely by meeting a man I have only known on here and Skype. He has seduced me, which is lovely as we are not together. I want to be seduced and to seduce in the flesh, physically, totally. Just to see if I can and how it feels. I have not done this before as I have always thought myself to be non-sexual, in control, not letting myself go. Now I have a chance to be a sensual, uninhibited lover and I want to do it. I will be fantastic, it will be fantastic, he will be fantastic.

I have to do something soon, as my insides are constantly churning and I am feeling in a state of arousal at all times of the day. I am building up for one big release. Only if I take the chance and just let it all go, and be myself. Do what I feel like doing without thinking about whether he will want me to do it or not, or whether I will be any good. Do it and be happy. The worst that can happen is I will get one chance only and never repeat it. At least I will be satisfied that I gave it my best shot and I will have some wonderful memories.

Heartache

Is it possible to have heartache over someone you do not know and have never met and do not love? I wonder what makes us think in terms of the heart rather than the mind and how we respond to situations.

Do our irrational emotions control our lives or is it better to keep emotions held tight inside where they can not wreak the havoc that they are capable of unleashing? I am pondering these questions this evening as I think about the last few days and how I am feeling. The birth of my granddaughter, the seductive talk, and today the silence. What is another person thinking when they do not make any contact, or send a few words in a message after being as intimate with another person as you can be without being together physically?

I can not imagine being so busy that I could not find time to write a short message, even a goodbye you are not the one message. That would be better than being left in silence.

Seduction

I have been seduced by a beautiful man. We have not yet met, at least not physically. We know each other from a previous life where we were lovers. we are not yet sure exactly when this occurred yet we both know it is true.

Lying in my bed being made love to through head phones is a novel experience, one that I recomend to everyone as a precursor to actually doing it together. This way you get to know before hand what sort of things the other person likes to do, and how experienced they are at making love.

Will i meet this person? I think I will and soon, if only to find out if the connection we have now is real and there is any chemistry between us. If there is, then I had better watch out as I will be taken on a ride the like of which I have never known in this lifetime.

New arrivals

This has been a magical day. My new granddaughter was born a 2:02 this afternoon. I was there for the birth and can only say it was amazing. I am totally in love with her and have spent several hours already with her in my arms or on my lap. She is so peaceful.

L was also amazing as she remained calm and in control through the whole process. She knocked on my door at 7 this morning to tell me she was haveing contractions every 10 minutes. We sat in the main room, timing the contractions for an hour or so before having some breakfast. L had decided to wait until there was 5 minutes between before having a bath and then getting to the hospital. And that is basically what happened.

We arrived at the hospital at 12:30 and went to the delivery suite. After being examined, L was found to be 8cm dilated. So it was all go from there. No pain killers, no stitches. She did her bit and listened to the midwife, who was very nice. And now there is a new life here in the house for everyone to adjust to. That will not be hard to do!

Shopping

I spent nearly three hours in Asda this early evening. R and L were doing their monthly shop and asked me to go with them. It was so much fun!!! The supermarket is large and R likes to go up and down every aisle, checking out the bargains. He is the slowest shopper I have ever known. He does find a lot of well priced items thouhg, and if this is the only time he shops in a month I suppose that three hours can be considered not too bad.

The fridge and freezer are now full, whereas before we went they were completely empty. R is happy to have it full up again, as well as the cupboards. Plenty to choose from now!

We had an Indian take away for supper as we didn't get back from the store until after 8pm. the Indian was very nice, hot and spicy. I had too much and had to leave amybe a third. Unusual for me to leave anything. I was just too full to eat any more. I've saved it for lunch tomorrow. Ever the non-waster.

Although I am doing this writing as a challenge, and quite enjoying it at times, D and I were talking about poetry this morning. I have been set a task to write a poem about a toenail. Now how do I approach that? I will have to let it mull in my head for a bit and see what comes out. Should be funny and interesting. I'll post it here when it is written. just to show I did do it.

Another late post

I am getting to be really bad with late postings. Oh well, it is just for me and as long as I remember to do a post when I get up the next morning all is fine. I spent the evening yesterday with my daughter L watching a film with Claude van Damm. L loved him when she was younger so it was a treat for her to see one of his films again. It was very late when I retired (oohh, fancy words now). No excuse for not writing a few words - I just plain forgot!!!

I awoke this morning thinking about D. Unusually for me, I turned the computer on before I got out of bed and lay there while everyhting fired up. I saw a fuzzy orangey coloured message pop up and knew it was a Skype message, even without my glasses on. I wondered who would be calling me that early - 7:30 - and found it was a morning message from D. I sent an answer and whoof, there he was calling me for a chat.

We spent 3 hours talking again. It is amazing that we can find so much to say, and also find that we have so much the same in our lives, right down to both having bad eyesight that was discovered when we started school! We seem to be each others alter-egos. Time will tell, especially when we do met in person. I just hope we hit it off then like we have online. We had some connection problems and ended with a half hour type chat before getting off to make coffee and have showers.

I am not blinkered by all this attention. I am fully aware that D has probably got a few ladies on the go. Now that may be entirely unfair and incorrect, yet I find it hard to see why he would pick only me in his search for a soulmate, or even his twin flame. Time will tell what is to be the outcome of this. I can only say that I am finding a side to me that has been buried for a very long time. She is slowly emerging as a sensual being, with more creativity than I knew was in there. I now have to have some self-talk about being relaxed and myself in a more intimate situation than I have been for a very long time, if ever.

Expectations Take Two

So what do I do now? The person in question from yesterday sent me a lovely email today. In response to the joy that coursed through me, I sent him a link to an article related to the showing of US flag draped coffins being carried off the planes. I was not expecting anything today in return, yet received a request for a talk.


Fast forward a couple of hours when we ended our talk and I am once again smitten. It is a wondrous feeling to think that someone new finds one attractive. Of course I am aware that the flattery is getting to me. I don't ever remember being told I am beautiful before and here is someone telling me that I am. How can I ignore that?

I know that this can all change very quickly especially if we meet in the flesh. I just hope that this lasts for a while longer and I truly hope that I have made a hgood and lasting friend. We have so much in common it is almost like talking to myself sometimes.

This person is special to me now. I can feel him in my bones. He is with me all the time, there in my head, in my vision, in my music. I told him that we should meet and see if the chemistry and synergy is still there. He said he had no doubts it would be. That will be for another day as we will not meet for a while yet.

Even if this all comes to nothing, I am so grateful to have the experience once more of meeting someone special, the developing relationship, the anticipation, the unknown. Feeling our way towards an understanding of each other. I will treasure these days in the years to come.

Expectations

How many times do we put expectations on other people, only to have them let us down? I have been working on not relying on others for my peace or happiness, and today feel I slipped by expecting someone I do not know at all to contact me just because he said he would. How naive am I to even think that it would happen.

I have been reading a psychics reading for my birthdate and time. In there it says I can be a romantic dreamer and get carried away with fantasies. I now know that is so right. I am now pulling myself up and preparing for a return to my usual no nonsense self. I have been feeling like a teenager getting all hot and bothered over a male. Silly me, I now know better.

A day with my daughter

My daughter gave me a coffee in bed this morning which was so nice. A short while later I was chatting on the internet to a friend when she decided it was time for us to get on with some of the chores she had on her to-do list.

As I came out of the shower, I realised she had already started to put up a new bed for her son. The bed had a very tall foot board that looked completely out of place in his bedroom. L decided to cut the excess off the foot board. She took the board off into the garden and started to saw the foot board down. I held the board so she could do the job more easily. We then put the bed up and it looks good.

Then L set to in the dining area to empty some large boxes that were taking up a goodly space. We put a lot of bits out in the crooked shed, and all the board games in the top of B's cupboard. I then put the spinning wheel in the corner of the dining area where it looks really nice. A vcuum round and floor wash completed that part of the list.

My daughter is lovely and I think she needed to get these jobs completed before the baby is born so she didn't have to worry about them after. Plus clearing out the dining room means there is plenty of room for the pram in there.

Oh the joy of moving into a new home and preparing for a new addition to the family.

New friends

Yesterday evening I spent nearly 4 hours talking with a man named D who I have not met. We initially made contact through Tagged. I have never given my Skype ID to anyone like that and was very unsure about even talking for a few minutes.

In the end we had our web cams on and chatted about many things. We talked about music and playing, singing, PTSD and the effect it has on families, reiki, spirituality, twin-mates as opposed to soul-mates, our families, extracts from our lives. It was amazing. D even got into bed and talked from there.

So now I have to decide whether I want to carry this on into a friendship. We have a lot in common, a lot of synergy through our life experiences. I was open and honest with him regarding my personal situation at the moment as I did not see any point in being any other way. I got the impression that he is keen to be friends and maybe more if there is any chemistry between us when we eventually met, which I think is likely. Meeting I mean. So I will wait and see what transpires from now on.

He did send me a tag of two people lying together in an intimate way but I don't know if he sent that before or after we talked. Would it make any difference? Yes, as if it was sent after our talk I would think he likes me a lot. And that has an effect on how I take this forward, if I do.

Back in England

So I missed three nights posts in the end when I only said two. I had a longer journey than I had imagined it would be. My first flight to Newark was cancelled and I was given a flight 4 hours later to Kennedy airport where I would connect with a Delta flight to London at 8:55 pm to arrive in London at 9:15 the following morning. This was only a couple of hours later than my original plan so seemed fine.

In the end, the flight to Kennedy was delayed by two and a half hours. There were apparently many delayed flights coming and going at Kennedy so everyone on board who had a connenction was told their flights would be leaving late so not to worry. Well, we arrived at 9:25 and when I ran to my gate I found that the London flight had left on time. Back at the Delta desk I met up with four other travellors from the late flight whose connections had gone.

After an hour wait to get to the desk as many passengers had missed flights, I was given a seat on the next flight to London - at 8:55am to arrive at 9:15 in the evening. So that meant a nights wait at Kennedy airport. Fortunately, I met up with a nice young man who also had to wait until 9 the next morning. We chatted for a bit, then wandered off to Dunkin Donuts to get a coffee. We found seats next to a phone charging pole to sit. Another lady with a young son, about 3 years old who had also been on our original flight, had to wait until the following afternoon for her flight. She settled her son down with a DVD player and Cars to watch. Once he drifted off to sleep, she was able to rest.

I tried to sleep a bit, but found it impossible. I needed to call L to let her know what was happening but had to wait until 3am so it would be 8 here in the UK. I told her when I was to arrive at Heathrow and asked her to check the time of the last train to Colchester where R would pick me up. I did lay down on the floor for an hour after that. No sleep, just resting.

After getting an egg and cheese bagel with a coffee at 5:30am, I had to wait until 7am for the duty free to open so I could buy some cigarettes and a bottle of vodka. Then I wandered around until it was time to use the bathroom and the call went out to board the plane. From then on everything went smoothly.

The service and food on the Delta flight were both excellent. I managed to get 3 hours sleep after lunch, and dozed a bit more as well. We landed on time, when I called L while we taxied to the departure gate. It took 20 minutes from the time I left the plane until I was on the underground leaving the terminal. The whole departure area was empty. This was the only flight landed at that time so it was easy to go through passport control, wait a few minutes for baggage, and walk through an unmanned customs.

I got to Liverpool Street with 10 minutes to go before the train left. Just time to buy my ticket, get settled into a seat and call home to tell R what time I would be at Colchester which was 12:15. By the time we got to the house after having to find a 24 hour petrol station it was 1 am.

I got to bed at 3 am and slept until after 1 that afternoon. I had a wonderful hot and strong shower and relaxed for the rest of the day. After a second night of sleep I felt alive again.

On Sunday L and r went out so I had the house to myself from 12 onwards. I managed to unpack most of the boxes in my room which I was happy to get done. I now have 3 bags of clothes left to sort and hang.

So, I am happy to be back in England and with my family again. I just have to make sure circumstances are such that I stay here for at least the next year if not longer.

Late again

Oops, I missed last night - again. This is not good enough!!

I needed to write as I am leaving today to return to England , so I will not be around tonight for an update. This is my notice. I might also miss Friday's post too. I will be so tired when I arrive at L's house that I can see me being in bed very early.

It's raining this morning, so I have not been snowed in, which was one of my fears about flying in February.

So, goodbye for now. ee you Saturday.

Friends - real and virtual

Real friends are there for you when you need them. They encourage you in whatever you decide to do. They miss you when you go away. They share laughter, dreams, tears, tales.

Virtual friends can do the same. The difference is they are not there with you to give a hug, or offer a tissue. Virtual friends can give a virtual hug, which feels nice in your imagination and can be comforting. But if you are really in dire straits, a real friend can be a lifeline, steering you towards a harbour where you can collect your strength to keep going.

Weaving done

I finished the weaving this morning and removed from the loom. I have enough yarn left on the shuttle to make a ball to take with me for crocheting round the edge when I make my poncho. It will have to wait until I get back to England now.

I had kept enough if the silk thread to warp a 3 inch scarf. I dedcided to warp a 3 inch scarf with red chenille and use the silk for the weft. What a good choice! I have woven the scarf this afternoon and evening (in between doing chores, going to the store, making tea, washing up). I have finished it , taken it off the loom and packed the loom away ready to give to S tomorrw when she comes over.

S and are coming round for supper. I'm hoping S will bring her violin so we can have a last usic session before I leave. I'm sure she will, as she loves playing as much as I do. I will be making a thick lentil soup, fresh bread and gingerbread for supper and S will bring something nice too.

I changed the bedding today so that's done for L. I have also left about 8 loaves of bread in the freezer, along with lots of cooked meats. He should be OK food wise for a while!

Social networking

I seem to have spent most of yesterday and today messing about on social network sites: Facebook, Tagged, and Twitter.

I joined Tagged some time back when my daughter sent me a message about it and have used it a lot recently. Apart from the usual men who want a quick bang, or those who are after money because they see women in their 50s and older as desperate!!!, I have made a couple of nice, funny and caring friends. One lives in Liverpool and the other in Italy. We write, send silly jokes, exchange music, chat about football. Many things and it is really nice.

Facebook is a recent addition and took me a while to find my way around. I have found one of my S-I-Ls on there, as well as his sister, and a niece who goes to Yale University. I can see what each of them is up to from here in the US as well as leave snippets of information myself.

Twitter is really new. I joined up last week and didn't think I Would like it at all. But I have watched what goes on and found a few people to follow and discovered that it can be quite addicitive! I have hooked twitter and facebook together as well, which was something I did not understand to begin with. And I have tweeted on a twitter Map. So all in all it's been an informative weekend.

Oh, I have managed to get a lot of weaving done in between spells on the laptop. I have to stand up and move around fairly regularly and each time I see the loom glaring at me. I have to finish what's on it by Tuesday so I can give the loom to my friend for lending to a new member of the weaving guild.

Birthday Lunch

I went to the birthday lunch of my friend L who was 77 on Wednesday. L lives in a residential home with three other residents in the small town where I have a house. I was the manager of the residential home for a couple of years before I worked in London at the university.

L invited his friends from the town where he lived for many years, as well as friends from the other two homes in the town. It was a crowded house, with wheelchairs and bodies everywhere! The ladies who work in the homes as carers cooked a lovely lasagna with garlic bread and salad. There was a fruit punch with sherbet to drink, then chocolate birthday cake and ice-cream for dessert.

I walked to the home - it takes about 10 minutes. It's been a lovely day with sun and temperatures in the 30s for the first time in weeks. Of course there's all the grit and dirty snow to walk through along the sides of the roads which can be a bit slippery. Yet it was a day to be out in the fresh air for a while. Made me feel alive again after being indoors for what seems like weeks.

L was very happy. He was given money by all his friends. he likes having apocket full of greens so he can go out to the store for sweets or a coffee when he likes. He has also got a computer set up in his room now so I can send him emails and pictures from England. He keeps reminding me to do that. He has one of the carers do the writing for him as he is not very good at that but he will tell them what to write and I will enjoy the contact.

Easy day

I have had an easy day finishing some tasks and tidying up in preparation for a trip to England next week. The window quilts I made last month are now completed with the extra material sewn down each side. I was unhappy with the fit of the quilts so decided to add the extra strips. I had to sew some on by hand and others I was able to use the sewing machine. Now the machine is packed away in its box as are all the htreads and needles.

I have the weaving to finish and did around 12 inches today. I am not too worried about getting perfect selvedges as I will be crocheting an edging once I have made the poncho, so I can weave alittle faster and in a more relaxed way. The silk warp is still sticking in places. The heddle reed separates the threads as I beat gently for a loose weave.

I had already prepared the evening meal yesyerday so just put the pan on the wood stove to heat up. Now I am going to have some pumpkin cheesecake and ice-cream for a late snack. Perhaps I'll put some hot toffee sauce on it too. Hmm. Sounds good to me!

Open source operating system - HELP!

I have installed a copy of Ubuntu onto a new computer and took the plunge to remove the windows system that the computer came with already installed. I like the interface. It is clean and clear. Now, though, I have to learn how to get around the system.

I am reading the Quickstart Guide which seems to be relating a lot of access routes to files and applications to an earlier version. So I am finding this another hurdle to overcome. The basics are similar to windows. I have a feeling that the main difference will be in having to write commands in the Konsole or terminal to get anything to happen. Reminiscences of DOS!

Unfortunaltely it is many years since I had a rudimentary knowledge of DOS commands so this will be a whole new learning experience and probably take quite a while to get comfortable with. I am keen to learn it though as I feel we should all get away from the closed, monopolistic software companies that are putting more and more restrictions on what we can do for ourselves.

The Free Software Foundation was set up to encourage the development of open source software that has as few links as possible with proprietary software. There seem to be so many versions of linux, all called by different names, that it is hard to choose which one to start with. I ended up with Kubuntu more by chance than through any analysis of what is available.

Oh well, back to the screen and I will try to find a way to copy files from a flash drive to the hard drive. I am hoping it doesn't take me all evening!

Window quilts

Due to the extreme cold here in northern Maine, I have made window quilts that fit into each window space against the glass. Using the quilts has had a measurable impact on reducing heat loss through the window spaces. We have 9 windows in our main room and 2 ineach bedroom, so heat loss had been quite high.

The quilts are made with cotton covers that can be chosen to match or contrast the room's decor. I make the cover first with an extra inch all round from the inner measurement of each window. The insides of the quilts varies. In the main room I have used thick wool blanket and an aluminium reflective sheet. In retrospect the aluminium sheeting has made cleaning the quilts quite tricky, and future quilts will not have this in them.

The blanket and aluminium are held in place with pins while a tube of material is sen across the back about 2 inches from the top. This tube holds a brass rod, a few inches longer than the window width. Hubby drilled a hole in each side of the window into which the brass rod slips at the top of the window. And there are the quilts.

For the bedroom quilts I used old hand made patchwork bed quilts for the inners, as these are quite thick. There is no aluminium in the upstairs window quilts, so they will be easier to wash in the summer.

During the daytime we take down some of the quilts, depending on how sunny a day it is. The quilts are hung on pairs of hooks on empty wall spaces in the respective rooms. Two or three quilts can be hung on each pair of hooks.

So we are cosy and warm with our colourful and unusual window quilts.

Late posting!

I have just realised that I missed my posting yesterday. I have forgiven myself and allow an early post today. I missed yesterday as hubby and I were setting up a new computer to run with an open-source operating system.

The time was taken up when I was making a back up of the windows operating system already insatlled, in case we decided to put it back on later. I put a DVD in the writer with a label on it. Guess what? The label came off and got stuck so the writer stopped working.

We now know how to remove and install a DVD writer! After taking the writer box out then realising that we should have had the DVD holder open, we had to put it back and power the computer up to open the drive. Then we took it out again, shone a torch inside, and there was the label. Stuck down one side. Tweezers to the rescue and a steady hand pulled it out, complete. Phew!

After reassembling everything, the computer works fine, as does the writer, so all recovery disks got written. Then we installed the open-source software and fired it up. All is well! The only trouble was the time. It was nearly 1 am by then and I am definitely not a night owl. It was time to hit the sack and blog posting was the furthest thing from my mind.

So here is yesterday's post.

Jacket sleeves

I have been given the job of shortening the sleeves on a pair of jackets for hubby. I have never done this before, so started by undoing one sleeve on the jacket liked less in case I made a mess of the job. I then pinned the length while hubby wore the jacket. Scary part was cutting away excess material so the sleeve wouldn't be too bulky when finished. Then I cut the same length from the lining and basted both parts. Having ascertained the length was OK I repeated the process on the other sleeve.

After pressing both outer and inner on each sleeve to help the material stay in place, I sewed the lining to the outer hem with a medium sized hem stitch. I had to catch the outer material to the two seams on the sleeve for security, and that was that. The jacket looks good, just as though it arrived like that. So I have accomplished and learnt something new today.

Late starter cello player

I started playing the cello four years ago while living in the USA. I had thought about playing an instrument for many years and when a friend, who had just begun violin lessons, asked me if I had ever wanted to play anything I said the cello. She was so excited because her violin teacher was also a cello teacher. After her next violin lesson I tried a cello and was hooked. I went home with a cello, much to the amazement of hubby. My friend and I started playing together from that first day, mostly on a Monday evening.

I find the cello to be difficult and frustrating, but oh so much fun. It is the best thing I have ever done. After returning to England in 2007, I took my Grade 2 exam mainly to experience the whole exam system in place for instrumentalists. It was very nerve-wracking! Even so, I got to play in an old priory with wonderful acoustics, a grand piano accompaniment, and a one person audience, the examiner. He was extremely nice, putting me at ease quickly. I toyed with the idea of taking my Grade 3 last year, eventually skipping it and am now working on Grade 4 scores and techniques.

The most frustrating thing about playing is not having anyone else to play with on a regular basis. I have a cello lesson every 3 or 4 weeks of an hour and a half long, and play duets with my teacher for the last 20 minutes of each lesson. That is good for listening to another player and making sure I keep in time and rhythm. It is also excellent practice in sight reading as I have to keep playing, whereas at home I would slow down or stop on tricky bits. Other than my teacher, it is on my own or playing along with CDs, which is itself a challenge and can be unsatisfactory.

There is a local orchestra here, but they only want players of over Grade 5 standard (in reality I think they mean Grade 7 or 8, as I have been along to one rehearsal and seen how they work). So I think I need to set up a network of adult learners, who are not yet up to Grade 5, who can contact other players in their area for practice sessions. Perhaps we will see some groups or ensembles forming, which would be great.

There is a late starters orchestra, the East London Late Starters' Orchestra, that does a great job of providing tuition and ensemble playing every Saturday during school term time. They are a bit too far for me to go, other than once in a while, as I have to use public transport and that would mean leaving home about 5:30 in the morning. Plus Saturday's are the only day I can have my personal lessons. I recommend them for anyone with easy access to Stratford, East London. They have a lot of information on their website.

28 Minutes to Change

Last week I was listening to a webinar about using a 28 minute meditation mp3 to change the way I think about success. That is, I will become successful if I use the meditation every day for at least 28 days. I downloaded the mp3 and have been using it every night when I go to bed for a week.

I hadn't thought about it before. On Friday I was shovelling snow, as you know, and while doing it my mind was turning over an idea I have had for a while. This is for setting up a business. I have been reluctant to start before because I had the usual thoughts going round my head. I'm not good enough, I can't do it, It won't work etc etc.

On Friday I decoded I COULD do this, and I WOULD do this. I went indoors, thought a bit more, then told hubby what I was going to do. He wanted to know where this had all come from, as I had never told him about my idea before. He was surprised I was so certain about the idea, and questioned me about it. What did I know about it? How would I do it? What about marketing? Costs? Niche?

Well, I hadn't thought about all those questions - I was just so confident about doing it, and still am. So I have some good questions to answer and integrate into my idea. That is what I will be doing for the next week alongside all the normal daily chores and listening to hubby's ideas for a citizen journalist site he wants to start.

The down side of snow shovelling

I woke this morning with a pounding headache and sore throat. So I've been relaxing on the sofa all day and am just making my daily write-up. Short and all I can do!

Here we go again!

The front path was covered with 10 inches of snow this morning. Not as much as we had thought - enough to take 5 trips with the snow shovel to clear it and the post box. I had not realised how hard snow clearing can be with a snow shovel. The banks of snow either side of the path and along the road are at least 5 feet high, so to throw each shovel-full up and over takes a lot of muscle strength. Hence the separate times of shoveling. I had to sit down, have a drink and recover. I didn't need a coat on as I got very hot exerting my muscles.

The temperature had risen while it snowed last night, up to 22F. Now the sky is clear again the nighttime temperature is dropping quite rapidly to 4F. It was nice to have a sunny day though, as we can leave the wood stove to go out about 10am and let the solar heat in through the south facing windows. This keeps the main room and kitchen warm until the sun diappears behind the barn at 3:45. So we light the fire about 3 or so and keep the warmth going.

I have decided to set up a website for my coaching business, so am in the process of making notes about what I would like to have on it. I've been searching for examples of other sites to get some ideas of what I might want to put on the site. I've come across some nice and some not so nice ones and will be looking over them tomorrow. After a time my eyes find it hard to focus on the computer screen!

Boring?

I can imagine that these posts come across as boring to anyone reading them. Please consider that I have spent most of my life avoiding writing and am using this blog as a way of letting my thoughts flow and improving my skills. I am hoping that over time the content will become more interesting and better expressed.

There have been some evenings when I felt like leaving the blog. Then I remembered it was a challenge and if there are any readers out there, I would be letting them down as well as myself. So I have kept up the daily output so far. And I am proud of myself for doing so even when I have written short amounts.

Now I have a blank mind. I have heard some people say that they do not believe it is possible to have nothing going on in their minds, even when they are relaxing. Well, I do have times when I can sit and have quiet in my head for a time. Then I realise I have been without thoughts for a bit and noise enters again.

Those moments of quiet are so calming. I feel at peace with myself and the world. Nothing can take those moments away and I find myself being calm and quietly joyful a lot of the time. I have no income or work right now, yet I know I do not need to worry about that. I can trust the universe that all will be well.

Loose Ends

I have completed one of the hats I am knitting for hubby. The loose ends had to be woven into the fabric and disappear. I now have to finish the other hat which only needs maybe a dozen rows at the top completed. And the loose ends sewn in! Although that's not really true.

I have already woven in all the ends on this hat as I finished it last weekend. I used a new decreasing for the top method and feel the hat needs some extra rows in the top as it came out a bit tight. So I have undone two thirds of the top for reknitting.

Yet another project with loose ends is the weaving I talked about before. So far I have woven 3 inches. It has been sitting on the table since then. In some ways I am reluctant to work on it as the loom looks so nice warped and ready with the full shuttles lying underneath it. And I am a perfectionist, wanting the edges to be straight with no draw-in. I will just decide to go for it one day soon and whip it off. Just need to psyche myself up to do it and accept how it comes out. With some care taken in the weaving anyway.

This all makes me think of life. There are many loose ends in our lives, some that we can weave away neatly and quickly, some that hang around for a long time. We hang on to some ends for longer than we ought to because the ends are comfortable. We know them so well that we are afraid to let them go, even when our inner voice tells us it is time to drop them.

Some ends are elusive, hiding or slipping away just as we stoop to pick them up. These ends are afraid of us weaving them in so they avoid completion, deny connections. With these ends we sometimes have to turn our backs on them and let them come to us when they are ready.

There will always be loose ends in our lives, no matter how many we have woven in or tied off. They creep up on us or jump right out and hit us on the nose. Yet what would life be like without any loose ends? Can you imagine going through your life, endless? Enjoy your loose ends, no matter what type they are. Nurture them, see them for the magnificent ends they are, be grateful they are there.

Magnetic Freedom is Not Free Any More

I heard today that my favourite spiritual development site MagneticFreedom.com is being closed due to the technical company that dealt with membership and videos closing on Februaury 1st.

I am very unhappy as I have used the site to access my learning videos and used the forums. Fortunately I have had time to download mp3 versions of the lessons I have done so far with lesson notes so i can revisit them when I need to. I am planning to start again as there is so much information in each lesson that I have to repeat them all.

This news is one of the down sides to the internet. It only takes one person to decide they are dropping a website and the ripple effect is felt globally. I know this is the case here, as there are people from Australia, England, Israel, Holland, Portugal, Canada and the US who use this site and are members doing the lessons.

We will all be hoping that a new site can be set up so we can meet up again and continue to develop our spiritual lives as well as our value creations.

Voip phones

It seems to me that there are a lot of highly priced voip phones out there that are given less than good reviews by users. It is extremely difficult to find a simple wireless voip phone that works with Vista. Hubby has spent several hours trying to find a phone that he can use with Skype on his Vista machine that is under $100 and has at least a decent review.

Each time he finds something that looks as if it will do the job, he discovers it needs XP or it has to be a 32-bit machine, or the reviews are unkind in respect to quality of sound or quality of design. I know there are many people who expect perfection in everything. Hubby is not like that. he accepts there will be some parts that he will not like as much. So, the search goes on. I hope I can survive another couple of hours listening to phone specs and reviews before bed!

Saturday talk

Our friend Nick came to visit this afternoon. He was ona mission - to get some drinking water in 7 gallon containers. He had a well drilled on his land and has found the water to be contaminated, hence undrinkable. He can do nothing in the middle of winter so hauls his containers around and fills them up where he can.

In return for coming over, and knowing he'd get a good coffee, Nick had baked some biscuits. They were crumbly and still warm. We had two each with raspberry jam and honey.

Conversation ranges from arthritis medications, democratic voting rights, to phosphate mining in Florida. Quite a range for a coffee chat!

Discussing new business

Hubby and I have to find a way to make a living so we have been discussing setting up our own business. Deciding what to do is a difficult process, particularly when we both have differing ideas.

Tonight we hit upon an online store selling equipment related to a news site hubby has been wanting to start for some time now. He is very excited by it all and feels we have a good idea to develop and work towards.

How we will live until we have something up and running, and can start getting back some money I am not usre. But the mortgage needs to be paid, as do the basic bills. So credit cards to the ready for a while, it seems.

I have every faith that we will survive as my angels will take care of me and make sure I am provided for, as well as hubby.

Stetson Mountain Wind Farm

John Baldacci, Governor of Maine, was at the opening of the Stetson Wind Farm just outside Danforth. The great and the good of the area were there, along with community members, or so the news blurb said.

Hubby and I thought we should go along, take some photos and see the wind turbines up close. There is one spot along the road going to the site where several of the wind turbines are visible. They look majestic, slowly turning above the trees, backdropped by the sky.

When we arrived at the site entrance, we were told we could not go up the mountain as we 'were not on the list'. We had heard about the opening on MPBN, Maine public radio and I had searched on the internet for the time, but no-one mentioned it was by invite or list only. We were shocked that this was the case as only a handful of community reisdents would go anyway, and what did they think? Someone might try and do something funny?

Well, the best bit was a group of protesters who felt that the whole scheme had been pushed through by the Governor without any public vote or discussion. There were seven people with placards from Lincoln - a very interesting group who are concerned about another proposed site around the Lincoln lakes that would ruin the scenery for all there. At least the Stetson farm was out away from any town, so the noise and lights would not be disturbing like the Mars Hill farm iss to residents.

So we stayed and chatted with the protesters and took pictures of them and their placards for about half an hour. We were cold by then so came home. I will be writing to the Governor to express my displeasure about not being allowed up the mountain today. will be keen to see how he responds (or whoever responds on his behalf).

Birthdays

Today was my birthday. I received many e-cards from friends on my social networking page as well as from family. I had already prepared food for today so I didn't have to do anything much, and did not get up early. I stayed in bed listening to some music on the radio until 9:30.

Birthdays invoke strange feelings in me. There are happy memories of childhood all the presents were a surprise and birthday tea would have cake, jelly and ice-cream. Each birthday as a teenager got me closer to that door of freedom, adulthood, being able to do what I wanted to do, no more listening to parents. How naive we are at different times in our lives!

As the years have slipped by, I find myself liking birthdays and the little gestures made to acknowledge a birthday. Like the time my husband and I were in Paris when hubby was working on a project with an interesting French co-operative savings club. I had spent the morning touring Paris while ameeting was taking place. When I arrived at the restaurant to meet up with everyone, all of whom I had met before, I was told I could only have a main dish to eat. I didn't think anything about that, so had a chicken plate. Then a cake with many candles was wheeled out, and the whole restaurant sang 'Joyeaux Anniversaire" to me. I was kissed on both cheeks by many handsome men and blew out the candles. it was a surprising, romantic thing for my husband to arrange, especially given he usually got the date of my birthday wrong!

Another year he had arranged for some friends to come round for a potluck, after telling me to relax while he prepared our evening meal. Today he forgot. I was waiting for him to ask me if it was my birthday, and it was only after my daughter rang in the evening to wish me a happy birthday that he said 'Oh, happy birthday. Why didn't you remind me?' And that was that, not to be mentioned again. I don't take it personally any more as I have grown through my spiritual practices. I am very happy whether my birthday is remembered or not as I have so much to be grateful for in my life.

Fascinated today

I have been fascinated by the pomp and ceremony that happened for the inauguration of the new President in contrast to changes of government in the UK. I have been watching most of the day and have been moved by the hope and optimism shown by everyone for the future.

I wonder why there is such a long period of time between the election and the new president actually taking over. In the UK, the new Prime Minister just takes over the day after winning the election, with a short speech outside 10 Downing Street. And that is that.

Here, there is the long weeks when the outgoing President can take all sorts of actions that might be detrimental to both country and the following President, especially if the party in power is changing. And all this fuss over questioning the people chosen for positions within the government. Surely the President can pick who he likes without them having to be voted on.

I do feel that there is a huge amount of expectation for Mr Obama to make many changes for the better, both in the US and abroad. I am hoping that he is someone who can bring people together in peace and harmony, and help those who are less fortunate in their lives. I wish him well.

Writing a blog post

Having set myself the challenge of writing a post on here every day, I am finding this to be quite daunting. So far I have managed to find something to write about most days and been happy to tap away at the keyboard of my laptop. I am not expecting anyone to read these posts or make any comments on them, although that would be nice.

I am finding this to be both liberating and difficult. It is liberating because I can write whatever I like and believing nobody will look at my writing makes it more so as I would feel anxious if I thought there might be other eyes on this. It is difficult as I am never sure about the content of the posting and have no idea about the topic until I click on Create Posting.

I did jot down a list of subjects after my challenge that I could write about over the weeks and as yet have not looked at the list again. I can see that I will be reading it for ideas in the days ahead once I decide I am running out of spontaneous writing. Or maybe I will always find something to type regardless of my feelings prior to opening my blog.

The main reason I challenged myself to write every day is that I have always avoided writing before as I have a limiting belief that I can not write. I studied mathematics for my degree, not just because I really like working with abstract ideas and numbers which I do like, but also because there was a minimum of writing involved. In many ways this is debilitating as I have refrained from applying for work where I perceived there would be more than small amounts of writing as part of the work. In this way I have misse out on amny opportunities to work in interesting fields and to make a career in any sense.

I read The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron a few years back and tried the journal writing for 10 minutes every morning. Needless to say I stopped after a few days, even though the idea was to write whatever came into my head, no worry about other reading it, no need for good grammar, just to let it flow. Not much flowed. I think I tried too hard. So now I am just letting it flow within constraints of a loose subject or post title and this works much better.

I am proud of myself for having come this far on my 18th day of posting something on the blog. There is hope for me yet!

Rushing

I'm writing this in a rush tonight as I am on my way to bed, as I am extremely tired. I think it's partly the cold weather wearing me out. On the other hand I have done a lot today, and moving wood around for the wood stove is hard work.

We have our split dried wood in a shed attached to the basement. Wood is brought into and stacked in the basement, and then taken up some steep stairs to the main room. We have enough in the main room for a day's burning at a time, so need to move wood most days. Some pieces of wood are very heavy.

I also got up quite early - I am not an early bird, liking to have my morning coffee around 8am in bed, after which I do my morning meditation before getting up. When the weather is warmer and the days longer, I get up around 7am, but winters are definitely made for stay in bed late months.

So although it is not so cold tonight, I am off to bed earlier than usual to have a read before sleeping. I just had to make a post of some sort today. Maybe I'll write more tomorrow, and something interesting too.

Costa Rica Webinar

This is a short posting as I have been listening to the wonderful speakers on the Costa Rica Webinar, running from 10 am today for 24 hours. I have picked up some great information in notes I have been making from essential listening skills to transformative sharing.

There are fewer speakers during the night so I will be going to bed at my normal time and getting up early to listen to Fred Johnson with his Accessing Power for Personal Transformation session at 5:15 am. Fred Johnson is a sound sculpturor who uses music to help people on their spiritual paths.

As far as I jnow, all the speakers sessions are recorded and will be available for viewing on the internet. I hope there will be many more people watching the recordings and donating to the earthquake fund in the coming week. I will report on the availability of the recording as soon as I know where they can be found.

So I am going back to listen to the current speaker and intend to write more tomorrow.

Cold Weather

Before I moved to Maine from England, I had never experienced the kind of cold weather that is the norm here in New England. Winters in old England tended to be damp and on bad days a few degrees below zero. If there was any snow, it would be a couple of inches that stayed for one or two days, then it would melt away.

When I first arrived at Boston airport in late January 2003, I had no idea what -20 was like. It was a fine sunny day and looked so nice from inside the airport. Walking outside to get the bus, the wind cut through my totally inadequate clothes, almost as though I was not wearing them. Once on the bus up to Maine it was fine.

I arrived in Bangor, Maine at 10:30 that night and jumped into a cab, asking to be taken to a motel. By now the temperature had dropped to -35. The motel was cheap and shabby, with thin covers on the two beds and a hard-presses heater below the window. I put all the bed covers onto one bed and slept with most of my clothes on and was still not completely warm. The only redeeming feature of the motel room was the shower which was strong and hot.

The next morning I was told that I had to cross the road to a garage to get a coffee. I set off past the doors of other rooms. At the end of the building I was faced with the full force of the wind blowing from behind the building. I was so cold I could not walk any further. I had to return to my room without any coffee and call a cab to take me to a coffee shop in a mall as I realised that I had to purchase a thick coat with hood, some strong boots for walking in snow and ice, a warm hat and gloves. Once I had those, I was better able to face the weather.

That was my first impression of the United States - bitter cold and hard walking. Now I love the winters here. I have adjusted to the necessities of winter living and enjoy walking in the snow. I have experienced cross country skiing which I just adore. I drive through snow storms and down ice-covered roads with my music on loud. Winters are great. They are proper winters, fully distinct from other seasons. Going indoors after battling through snow drifts and in -40 wind chills is devine. Getting warm by the wood stove and cooking thick soups on top, with fresh biscuits. What can beat that?

Webathon this weekend

Check out the webathon running this weekend January 17th at 10am, running for 24 hours to raise money for victims of the Costa Rican earthquake last week. There are many different motivational speakers on, and if you know of anyone who would be willing to do a 45 minute spot, please go to the website and contact Bob D-F.

Webathon for Costa Rica Earthquake Victims

I have also discovered a very interesting and thought-provoking course that links the dark and light side of life through a series of daily lessons. I have just finished lesson 2, which looks at the way media forces are used to hide a lot of information and to promote what governments want us to know. There is an eye-opening video to watch, produced by the BBC, about how the public are kept in a state of fear and insecurity so power can be kept by governments. Worth a watch. And the course is definitely worth looking at to see if it is something you can benefit from - it is free, too.

Transformation Course

I think I'll leave this post at that, rather than blather on about other things I've done today while staying indoors out of the bitter cold.

Dressed Loom and Half-Knitted Hat

As soon as I sat down to write this post, I remembered the picture of the loom. I had to put the loom on the floor as the warp consists of mainly dark colours and I had it on a dark table. I took a picture from the front and one from the back. This is the better of the two pictures, taken from the back, showing the rigid heddle loom dressed and ready for the weaving to begin. The silk is dyed a dark purple with random strands of reds and blues running through it.

Now I have to decide on the weft colours. My first idea was to use a darkish dusky pink. I tried a few strands in the warp and was not to keen on the result. I have now found a nice red that matches the main red strands in the warp, and a dark purple. I might use both colours, with the purple as the main colour and work some random stripes in the red. This is an experimental piece in two ways. Firstly using a rigid heddle loom, and secondly weaving silk with rayon chenille. How ever the fabric comes out, I will make the poncho with a crocheted edging to give it more strength. I can wear it around the house or as a bed poncho.

I am just a bit over half way through the patterned area of the hat. I will knit another four stripes before starting the stitch reduction for the top of the hat. I am choosing the stripe colours as I go along, and so far I think they look nice. The colours look a bit brighter in the picture than they really are.

The pattern is called a two colour seed stitch and is very simple to do. It has four rows to each pattern repeat. I am doing four rows in one colour, then two rows in the base grey colour for each stripe. I sit and knit a stripe when I have coffee, three times a day so it is growing quickly and will be finished by the end of the week.

Sticky warp

I have been putting the silk warp on my rigid heddle loom. It has been an extremely difficult task because the warp is the most sticky warp I have ever dealt with. The slightest movement and clump, the threads stick together, wrap around each other, tangle up. I have a 14 inch wide warp at 10 threads per inch and have nearly finished threading the heddle. That leaves tying onto the front beam and tensioning. Everything else is done. I am taking a short break before completing the heddles. Then it's off to bed and finish in the morning.

I had thought of using this silk for weft originally, but was not sure if there would be enough, hence using it as a warp. I have plenty of rayon chenille for the weft and hope the weaving will be relatively painless. At least the weft will stay in place as the silk grabs onto anything! So, tomorrow's post will be a report on how easy or otherwise, this warp is to weave. Maybe I will take a picture of the warped loom as my first picture on the blog.

Tasks are piling up now. I have 5 pairs of trousers hanging by the table waiting for me to take the waist in on each pair by an inch or so. Then some will need hemming as they are unhemmed. I haven't checked lengths yet, as I wanted to make sure the fit was good first. I also have a jacket with sleeves that need taking up a bit. All this is for my hubby, as he has lost some weight recently. Not that he had any weight on him to lose - he is very thin already.

I have knitted about half the first hat. I am not too keen on the ribbed edge with the pattern I am doing. The colours are blending together well. Another picture for the blog coming up, I think.

Quiet Day

Once in a while it is nice to have a quiet day, and today is one of those days. I have been sitting around, writing emails, chatting with my daughter on Skype, and knitting the hat for my hubby.

The knitting has taken a longer than it might have if I had not followed a simple pattern for two needles without thinking about how I needed to change every even row for circular knitting. After doing around an inch I realised the pattern was not what I expected. I made a swatch on two needles to see what it was supposed to look like, then worked out what I needed to do on the circular needle. Unknitting is one of those skills that I have developed over the years, so I quickly got back to a good restarting point. Now the pattern is as I like and I am just concerned with colour changes to get a nice look. As this is for my hubby I have to be a little careful with the colours or he will not wear the hat.

I have also calculated how many warp threads I need to wind for weaving the poncho I described in yesterday's post. I brought my warping board down to the main room, checked the sett or how many threads to the inch I need for the rigid heddle loom, and now can wind the warp. The rigid heddle is 10 threads to the inch, and I will weave a 13 inch cloth. Allowing for draw-in during the weaving, I will wind 140 warp threads, each 2 yards long. I can weave a cloth around 56 inches long on that warp. I hope to have enough silk left to warp a 3 inch scarf about 6 feet long.

So back to knitting now while I listen to some good music on the radio. From the Top has just finished. Those young players are fantastic, and most have a great sense of humour, too. They are truly inspiring and dedicated to music.

Fibre Crafts Again

I knew I had a lot of weaving yarns in a cupboard at the top of the house so I have brought all the bags down to see what is there as my husband has asked me to knit him couple of hats. I found several cones of wool yarn for him to choose from, and a book of knitting patterns to make an interesting colour combination.

I also found 400 yards of handspun and hand-dyed silk yarn. I have been thinking of making myself a small poncho and was wondering what yarn to use. Now here is the answer. I will use the silk as a warp and chenille for the weft, loosely set in. I have a rigid heddle loom that will do the job as I will be weaving a simple tabby. Colours are purples and reds, with a red chenille. It will look and feel so nice. A picture of the completed article will be posted when I have finished.

Another find was three small picture frames warped with strong cotton to do some practice tapestry weaving on. They are staying out too and I will be working samples of tapestry techniques and colour swatches using rayon chenille, as I have a lot of different colours in that fibre. So more pictures there for the blog.

I seem to have found lots of things to do on these extremely cold evenings, after cello practice which has to come first.

Costa Rica Earthquake

On Thursday an earthquake hit Costa Rica, causing a lot of damage and loss of life. There are now many people who have lost their homes and possessions. As of Friday afternoon, the main CNE warehouse has caught fire. Initial reports indicate that most of relief items (food, mattresses), expected to be distributed to the quake victims, are now lost. The Pavas airport, second one in San Jose, is now closed.

The CNE has listed relief items required so far: sleeping bags, milk, non-perishable food, candles and personal hygiene items. CNE has specifically requested 2000 blankets, tents (aprox 200), emergency medical material, as well as logistic (funding for helicopter flight time).

Note that this list may change, since the main CNE warehouse is reported to have burned on Friday afternoon.

One of the main hydroelectrical plant, Cariblanco, has been damaged and will have to cease activities for a long period according to the national power authority (ICE). One secondary concern is possible damage to hydroelectric dam(s) close to San Jose. These are being assessed.

SERIOUS HELP IS NEEDED! Please make a donation at:

Donate to the Costa Rica Relief Fund

100% of your contribution will go towards providing local residents with food and shelter!

(Text taken from above website)

Please help as much as you can.

Defiance

I'm late writing today's post because I have been watching Defiance with Daniel Craig in the lead role. This film is based on the true story of the Bielski brothers who helped many Jews survive in Belorussia in the Second World War. It is a very uplifting and moving film, showing how people come together in adversity and faith to live in the forest for 3 years. I will definitely watch this film again to pick up on all the nuances and details missed in my first viewing.

Another of my favourite films is The Pianist, another true story of how a Jewish pianist survived in Poland during the war, and the people who helped him, including a German army officer. I read the book written by the pianist on which the film is based. Apart from a couple of small changes, the film depicts the events very well as they happened.

Weaving Guild, Pot Luck, and Music-making

The Border Weavers met today in the home of one of the members for our delayed Christmas pot-luck lunch. This had been postponed in December due to an ice storm. We also checked out each others weaving books and magazines for inspiration and information.

The Border Weavers Guild was formed by a group of nine ladies who were members of a knitting circle. After several meetings where woven items were shown as well as knitted items, it was suggested that those interested in weaving could form a weaving group. And so that is what we did.

Weaving is one of those activities that needs lots of different skills, from maths to colour design. And it requires attention to detail when warping a loom or following treadling orders. most of the members have a tapestry loom, made by the husband of our oldest member. Most of us have tried some tapestry weaving, albeit simple, and one lady made herself a poncho on her tapestry loom. I must give that a try. Several members have floor looms and make the most wonderful woven items - scarves, towels, shawls, wall-hangings, rugs. Everything is just so beautiful.

The pot luck was fabulous with cream of broccoli soup, chicken wings, coleslaw, home-made breads and muffins, pear and pecan crisp, brownies, key lime pie and my pumpkin cheesecake. I just love the way so many meetings and get-togethers are around pot lucks over here. Not something I had ever done in England, but I am definitely going to start whenever I am back there visiting family or working.

I drove to the weaving meeting today and had to stop on the road to let a gaggle of around a dozen wild turkeys cross the road. It was a great sight – they are big birds and looked at me as they crossed in front of the car. Of course I didn’t have a camera with me! The roads are very slippy with ice and snow on them. I enjoy driving in this weather for some strange reason. It’s been about -10 all day and is going down to -20 tonight.

After the meeting I went back to the house of my violin playing friend so we could spend a couple of hours playing together. I had taken my cello into the meeting with me as it was too cold to leave it in the car. We played some fiddle tunes that I had copied and written in the bass clef - they sounded good played on the two instruments. Than we did some Handel and Bach pieces that we like before finishing with some show tunes.

This is the best therapy I know. Music lets me leave all cares behind, yet brings emotion into my life. It is so much fun to play with others - we laugh a lot, especially when things don't sound so good! Time to go home came too quickly, so I set off along dark, lonely roads with Yo-Yo Ma and Claude Bolling keeping me company with their wonderful jazz. One day I'll sound like that. One day.....

Dancing Fire and Cheesecake

It has been a snowy, damp day today. After feeding the woodstove, I sat and watched the flames. There were several that appeared to be dancing above the logs. They flicked on and off like fireflies, floating over the logs without touching any of them. It was mesmerising. Turning, I could see the snow falling outside. Another mesmerising occurrence that allows my mind to wander into realms of fantasy.

Reality calls me back to the kitchen. I made the pumpkin cheesecake today. There was so much pumpkin that I prepared yesterday. Too much for the recipe I followed. I made two cheesecakes - very easy recipe. One of the ladies at the pot luck tomorrow can't eat wheat, so I've made her a small pot of cheesecake without the crumb base. I made two pumpkin breads as well, and froze two packs of mashed pumpkin, each holding two cups worth. After having chicken soup for tea, I tried a tiny slice of cheesecake. UMMM. It's so delicious - I had to refrain from having more, even though I was full up. So I am happy to take my offering tomorrow.

Cooking pumpkin

I slept so well last night - warm, comfortable and really dark in the bedroom, which is how I like it. Got woken up by the phone ringing at 7:30 - it was a wrong number! Snuggled down again and listened to the radio for a bit after doing my morning meditation. It's been one of those days - snowing and dark - when there's not much incentive to do anything. I did sort out my clothes, throwing away a couple of bags full of old, holey and worn things. Then I decided to cook a pumpkin I had been given before Christmas.

This is a pie pumpkin. I found a recipe online for pumpkin cheesecake which I will make tomorrow for a pot luck lunch on Friday. So I took out the seeds for roasting, scraped away all the stringy bits and put the pumpkin to steam. It needed an hour and a half on my stove before it was cooked. Now it's all mashed up and ready making into cheesecake.

As I come from England, I haven't had much to do with pumpkins, or any other squash, before. I found the taste of pumpkin pie to be quite strange at first, but with the excellent cooks I know around here, I have got used to it now, and have been known to have more than one piece. One of my friends makes her pie with molasses and honey. Now that is scrummy. So I'll use some of the cooked pumpkin to make a pie. But I'm keen to try the cheesecake recipe and will make two so I have one for home. More to follow on the success or otherwise!

New bedroom tonight and friends

At last I can sleep in my newly insulated, sheetrocked, painted and papered bedroom. All the furniture was moved in this morning from a cold and miserable looking undone room. So I keep clock watching to see if it's time for bed yet. Having spent many winters sleeping in the main room on a futon bed it will be such a treat to sleep in a real bed, and know that if my husband does want to stay on the internet half the night, I will not be disturbed. Bliss!

One of my best friends came by today. I have been in England (my home country) working for the last 2 years so have only seen my friend once when I was visiting last year. She is currently living and running a small retail shop in a coastal town, roughly two and a half hours drive from here. So it was a surprise to find her at the door this afternoon, hubby in tow, and with a new dog. She already has an older dog and here she has a young and oh so friendly spaniel. She was very impressed with all the work that has been done in the house and with how warm it is in here. We remembered shivering near the wood stove on previous occasions, trying to play our instruments with cold fingers. She is a violinist, as is my other best friend who lives locally.

There was a time before I went back to England when we had a string quartet. Both my best friends on violins, an ex-music teacher and multi-instrument player on the viola and myself on cello. We would meet every Monday evening to play for up to 3 hours. We laughed and cried, stamped our feet, talked, and played, played, played. It was our weekly therapy night and I miss that a lot. One of the casualties of us moving apart physically. So any opportunity any of us have to play together, we take it. I'll write more about music making in another posting.

So, back to new bedrooms. I have new flannel sheets and pillow cases, plus a new duvet cover all soft and warm waiting for me upstairs. Goodnight all!

Bread and wallpaper

So what's the connection between bread and wallpaper? Just that they are both things I did today - baked bread and hung wallpaper. I've often heard people say that they don't have tine to make their own bread. My response is that the actual time spent on bread-making is quite small. If someone can watch TV for several hours in the evening, then they can also make bread. Although these days there are a lot of electric bread-makers around, I'm not sure the resulting loaf is the same as one made by hand.

But that's by the by. I made four loaves using a combination of stone-ground wholemeal flour, spelt flour, unbleached flour, buckwheat flour, and rice flour. For good measure I threw in a couple of handfuls of sunflower seeds and some ground flax seed. The loaves came out so good - two slices keep me going for a long time!

My husband and I have been renovating a 1920 Dutch Colonial in Eastern Maine for the last 6 years. We bought wallpaper for the bedrooms and main living room soon after moving in, expecting to be decorating quite quickly. Little did we realise what we had taken on, and I shall be telling some tale about that in future postings. Suffice it to say that we are extremely happy to have just finished wallpapering the first two rooms today.

Making bread and wallpapering are both satisfying for my soul. They both require a certain amount of dedication and skill to accomplish good results, and both give a feeling of achievement when finished.

Roll on tomorrow when we get to move into the bedroom, after having some excellent toast for breakfast, of course.

New Year - Is this time to start a journal?

Keeping a journal has long been one of those 'one day I'll do that' items on my list. Having access to a blog page makes me wonder if now is the time to start. After all, it is not necessary to write every day, especially when it seems as though nothing much is happening from one day to the next. But is this a truth? Can I really say that nothing happens during the course of any day? As some one who has long professed to being a non-writer, perhaps I deliberately ignore happenings so I don't have anything to write about.

So, this then is my New Year Resolution number 1. To find something in each day that I will write about, no matter how small, or how little I write. But hang on a minute I say to myself. This is the 4th of January - what happened to the first 3 days of the year? My answer is that I allowed myself those days to ponder the sense and feasibility of setting myself this challenge given my normal reaction to any mention of writing - run and let someone else do it.

Since taking a course in Neuro-Linguistic Programming I have realised that my long-held belief that I am no good at writing stems from a buried memory of a school teacher slamming my workbook on the desk and telling me that what I had written was a load of rubbish! What a disasterous thing to tell a young child. I have spent most of my life since then avoiding as much as possible anything that involves writing. Now I am aware of the reason for my reticence I can work on reversing the limiting belief, and this blog is the start of my awakening ability.

So I will set myself the challenge to write evey day on here for this year. I allow myself to miss an occasional day when travelling, as long as I have recorded the missed day and reasons in the previous days post.Let the challenge begin!