Leaving

I have decided that I am not returning to Maine. I feel so at home here in England with my family close by that I want and need to remain here. I am freer and developing my own life here for the last 2 years.

After returning to Maine for 3 months, and then coming back I now know this is the right place for me to be. I loved living in Maine and have a lovely home there, as well as some good friends. Yet this last time I was fully aware of how much I wanted to be home in England.

Now I have a decision to make about my marriage. While in Maine for the 3 months I felt that L and I were like two old friends sharing a house. There was no hugging, kisses, touch. Just a quiet calm.

So the question is, do i leave both Maine and my husband? Or do I leave Maine only and continue in a marriage over here? My gut feeling is that I need to leave both. Now I ahve to do it.

I am in effect away from both now. So the leaving part is done and I am in control as to whether or not I fly back. What I can not control is how my husband will react or respond to my telling heim our marriage is over. Ideally for me, he will accept it and already know in his heart that this the case. If not, he may come over to see me and that would be the worst scenario. Time will tell.

I will not be writing on here tomorrow evening as I will probably be staying in a hotel in town with my friend from Dorset. That's another complication that has cropped up in the last couple of weeks, completely unexpectedly. More in 2 days time on that one!