Is it possible to have heartache over someone you do not know and have never met and do not love? I wonder what makes us think in terms of the heart rather than the mind and how we respond to situations.
Do our irrational emotions control our lives or is it better to keep emotions held tight inside where they can not wreak the havoc that they are capable of unleashing? I am pondering these questions this evening as I think about the last few days and how I am feeling. The birth of my granddaughter, the seductive talk, and today the silence. What is another person thinking when they do not make any contact, or send a few words in a message after being as intimate with another person as you can be without being together physically?
I can not imagine being so busy that I could not find time to write a short message, even a goodbye you are not the one message. That would be better than being left in silence.
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Monday, 23 February 2009
Seduction
I have been seduced by a beautiful man. We have not yet met, at least not physically. We know each other from a previous life where we were lovers. we are not yet sure exactly when this occurred yet we both know it is true.
Lying in my bed being made love to through head phones is a novel experience, one that I recomend to everyone as a precursor to actually doing it together. This way you get to know before hand what sort of things the other person likes to do, and how experienced they are at making love.
Will i meet this person? I think I will and soon, if only to find out if the connection we have now is real and there is any chemistry between us. If there is, then I had better watch out as I will be taken on a ride the like of which I have never known in this lifetime.
Lying in my bed being made love to through head phones is a novel experience, one that I recomend to everyone as a precursor to actually doing it together. This way you get to know before hand what sort of things the other person likes to do, and how experienced they are at making love.
Will i meet this person? I think I will and soon, if only to find out if the connection we have now is real and there is any chemistry between us. If there is, then I had better watch out as I will be taken on a ride the like of which I have never known in this lifetime.
Sunday, 22 February 2009
New arrivals
This has been a magical day. My new granddaughter was born a 2:02 this afternoon. I was there for the birth and can only say it was amazing. I am totally in love with her and have spent several hours already with her in my arms or on my lap. She is so peaceful.
L was also amazing as she remained calm and in control through the whole process. She knocked on my door at 7 this morning to tell me she was haveing contractions every 10 minutes. We sat in the main room, timing the contractions for an hour or so before having some breakfast. L had decided to wait until there was 5 minutes between before having a bath and then getting to the hospital. And that is basically what happened.
We arrived at the hospital at 12:30 and went to the delivery suite. After being examined, L was found to be 8cm dilated. So it was all go from there. No pain killers, no stitches. She did her bit and listened to the midwife, who was very nice. And now there is a new life here in the house for everyone to adjust to. That will not be hard to do!
L was also amazing as she remained calm and in control through the whole process. She knocked on my door at 7 this morning to tell me she was haveing contractions every 10 minutes. We sat in the main room, timing the contractions for an hour or so before having some breakfast. L had decided to wait until there was 5 minutes between before having a bath and then getting to the hospital. And that is basically what happened.
We arrived at the hospital at 12:30 and went to the delivery suite. After being examined, L was found to be 8cm dilated. So it was all go from there. No pain killers, no stitches. She did her bit and listened to the midwife, who was very nice. And now there is a new life here in the house for everyone to adjust to. That will not be hard to do!
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Shopping
I spent nearly three hours in Asda this early evening. R and L were doing their monthly shop and asked me to go with them. It was so much fun!!! The supermarket is large and R likes to go up and down every aisle, checking out the bargains. He is the slowest shopper I have ever known. He does find a lot of well priced items thouhg, and if this is the only time he shops in a month I suppose that three hours can be considered not too bad.
The fridge and freezer are now full, whereas before we went they were completely empty. R is happy to have it full up again, as well as the cupboards. Plenty to choose from now!
We had an Indian take away for supper as we didn't get back from the store until after 8pm. the Indian was very nice, hot and spicy. I had too much and had to leave amybe a third. Unusual for me to leave anything. I was just too full to eat any more. I've saved it for lunch tomorrow. Ever the non-waster.
Although I am doing this writing as a challenge, and quite enjoying it at times, D and I were talking about poetry this morning. I have been set a task to write a poem about a toenail. Now how do I approach that? I will have to let it mull in my head for a bit and see what comes out. Should be funny and interesting. I'll post it here when it is written. just to show I did do it.
The fridge and freezer are now full, whereas before we went they were completely empty. R is happy to have it full up again, as well as the cupboards. Plenty to choose from now!
We had an Indian take away for supper as we didn't get back from the store until after 8pm. the Indian was very nice, hot and spicy. I had too much and had to leave amybe a third. Unusual for me to leave anything. I was just too full to eat any more. I've saved it for lunch tomorrow. Ever the non-waster.
Although I am doing this writing as a challenge, and quite enjoying it at times, D and I were talking about poetry this morning. I have been set a task to write a poem about a toenail. Now how do I approach that? I will have to let it mull in my head for a bit and see what comes out. Should be funny and interesting. I'll post it here when it is written. just to show I did do it.
Another late post
I am getting to be really bad with late postings. Oh well, it is just for me and as long as I remember to do a post when I get up the next morning all is fine. I spent the evening yesterday with my daughter L watching a film with Claude van Damm. L loved him when she was younger so it was a treat for her to see one of his films again. It was very late when I retired (oohh, fancy words now). No excuse for not writing a few words - I just plain forgot!!!
I awoke this morning thinking about D. Unusually for me, I turned the computer on before I got out of bed and lay there while everyhting fired up. I saw a fuzzy orangey coloured message pop up and knew it was a Skype message, even without my glasses on. I wondered who would be calling me that early - 7:30 - and found it was a morning message from D. I sent an answer and whoof, there he was calling me for a chat.
We spent 3 hours talking again. It is amazing that we can find so much to say, and also find that we have so much the same in our lives, right down to both having bad eyesight that was discovered when we started school! We seem to be each others alter-egos. Time will tell, especially when we do met in person. I just hope we hit it off then like we have online. We had some connection problems and ended with a half hour type chat before getting off to make coffee and have showers.
I am not blinkered by all this attention. I am fully aware that D has probably got a few ladies on the go. Now that may be entirely unfair and incorrect, yet I find it hard to see why he would pick only me in his search for a soulmate, or even his twin flame. Time will tell what is to be the outcome of this. I can only say that I am finding a side to me that has been buried for a very long time. She is slowly emerging as a sensual being, with more creativity than I knew was in there. I now have to have some self-talk about being relaxed and myself in a more intimate situation than I have been for a very long time, if ever.
I awoke this morning thinking about D. Unusually for me, I turned the computer on before I got out of bed and lay there while everyhting fired up. I saw a fuzzy orangey coloured message pop up and knew it was a Skype message, even without my glasses on. I wondered who would be calling me that early - 7:30 - and found it was a morning message from D. I sent an answer and whoof, there he was calling me for a chat.
We spent 3 hours talking again. It is amazing that we can find so much to say, and also find that we have so much the same in our lives, right down to both having bad eyesight that was discovered when we started school! We seem to be each others alter-egos. Time will tell, especially when we do met in person. I just hope we hit it off then like we have online. We had some connection problems and ended with a half hour type chat before getting off to make coffee and have showers.
I am not blinkered by all this attention. I am fully aware that D has probably got a few ladies on the go. Now that may be entirely unfair and incorrect, yet I find it hard to see why he would pick only me in his search for a soulmate, or even his twin flame. Time will tell what is to be the outcome of this. I can only say that I am finding a side to me that has been buried for a very long time. She is slowly emerging as a sensual being, with more creativity than I knew was in there. I now have to have some self-talk about being relaxed and myself in a more intimate situation than I have been for a very long time, if ever.
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Expectations Take Two
So what do I do now? The person in question from yesterday sent me a lovely email today. In response to the joy that coursed through me, I sent him a link to an article related to the showing of US flag draped coffins being carried off the planes. I was not expecting anything today in return, yet received a request for a talk.
Fast forward a couple of hours when we ended our talk and I am once again smitten. It is a wondrous feeling to think that someone new finds one attractive. Of course I am aware that the flattery is getting to me. I don't ever remember being told I am beautiful before and here is someone telling me that I am. How can I ignore that?
I know that this can all change very quickly especially if we meet in the flesh. I just hope that this lasts for a while longer and I truly hope that I have made a hgood and lasting friend. We have so much in common it is almost like talking to myself sometimes.
This person is special to me now. I can feel him in my bones. He is with me all the time, there in my head, in my vision, in my music. I told him that we should meet and see if the chemistry and synergy is still there. He said he had no doubts it would be. That will be for another day as we will not meet for a while yet.
Even if this all comes to nothing, I am so grateful to have the experience once more of meeting someone special, the developing relationship, the anticipation, the unknown. Feeling our way towards an understanding of each other. I will treasure these days in the years to come.
Fast forward a couple of hours when we ended our talk and I am once again smitten. It is a wondrous feeling to think that someone new finds one attractive. Of course I am aware that the flattery is getting to me. I don't ever remember being told I am beautiful before and here is someone telling me that I am. How can I ignore that?
I know that this can all change very quickly especially if we meet in the flesh. I just hope that this lasts for a while longer and I truly hope that I have made a hgood and lasting friend. We have so much in common it is almost like talking to myself sometimes.
This person is special to me now. I can feel him in my bones. He is with me all the time, there in my head, in my vision, in my music. I told him that we should meet and see if the chemistry and synergy is still there. He said he had no doubts it would be. That will be for another day as we will not meet for a while yet.
Even if this all comes to nothing, I am so grateful to have the experience once more of meeting someone special, the developing relationship, the anticipation, the unknown. Feeling our way towards an understanding of each other. I will treasure these days in the years to come.
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
Expectations
How many times do we put expectations on other people, only to have them let us down? I have been working on not relying on others for my peace or happiness, and today feel I slipped by expecting someone I do not know at all to contact me just because he said he would. How naive am I to even think that it would happen.
I have been reading a psychics reading for my birthdate and time. In there it says I can be a romantic dreamer and get carried away with fantasies. I now know that is so right. I am now pulling myself up and preparing for a return to my usual no nonsense self. I have been feeling like a teenager getting all hot and bothered over a male. Silly me, I now know better.
I have been reading a psychics reading for my birthdate and time. In there it says I can be a romantic dreamer and get carried away with fantasies. I now know that is so right. I am now pulling myself up and preparing for a return to my usual no nonsense self. I have been feeling like a teenager getting all hot and bothered over a male. Silly me, I now know better.
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